From a Gal who is waiting for luv...

My New Place...

2006-04-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone... I'm back.. :) after two weeks of absence... Anyway, i have shifted my blog site to this new address My new place So, please update your link n See you there! With luv.. Catherine

A smile...

2006-03-21T09:06:00.000+08:00

Strip taken from Parka's blog

Sometimes it doesnt take much effort to put a smile on my face; a daily dose from Parka's blog always does the trick. I m much feeling much better now. Thanks for the concerns, my blogger frens :)

Last words... to Dearest Grandma

2006-03-17T00:23:00.000+08:00

It is always difficult to let your loved one goes, coz you know that the void in your heart can

never be filled; but for she may be gone, i always remember her in my heart.

Good bye Grandma,

I will miss you, always.

From your dearest grand-daughter

Emptiness & Sad...

2006-03-13T10:01:00.000+08:00

For the past few weeks, there are moments when I woke up in the middle of the nite feeling empty and the feeling just get worsen each time it comes. There are things which require my immediate attention, but I procrastinating. There are times when I wanted to blog, but no words come out right. I m tired of waiting for luv to come; it will not come; and i dun wish it to happen too. Is it my life too mundane, or is the malevolent persistent flu making me exhausted, languid and lonely? I really hate this feeling. *** I just received the news of my beloved grandma has passed away this morning. I'm loss for words...

My Favourite F-stuff...

2006-03-10T10:26:00.000+08:00

Enough of my usual luv & career grumblings postings, Let's me talk something different today; My favourite F-stuff Food If you 'live to eat' and are tired of the usual eateries you patronise, or gaming of new taste, Makan time in Singapore will be the only source of information that you ever need. It tells you where is the best Chicken rice and Cha kway teow, and even introduce you to strange cuisine such as the Durian Drink & Fried Prata. It even hosts a Hall of Fame & Hall of Shame(where it lists those places with poor service, over-charged or unhygiene preparation of food. The best thing about makan place is that their listing is updated regularly, so you would not need to worry where to locate your favourite Nasi Lemak stall if it has shifted. Films Great news for the local Films Buffs! The annual 19th Singapore International Film Festival is here again from 13th - 29th April. There are some good movies worth to catch, like the Opening Film of 'Kiss Me Not On The Eyes'. The festival will showcase over 300 films from 40 countries. The best of world cinema will be covered together with a special focus on Music in film. From Morrissey, the Flaming Lips, the Beatles mystery to world music and the Iranian rock underground. And as with previous years, the event will culminate in the Silver Screen Awards Ceremony which gives prizes to the Best Asian Feature Film and Best Singapore Short Film. Tickets will go on sale from 20th March onwards, so stay updated through their website.

Recently, I had the opportunity of attending a double bill screening of one of my favourite Director, Yasmin Ahmad and her movies, Sepet & Gubra. For those whom likes a good old-fashioned romance story, Sepet is a must-watched movie for you. A story of where a chinese boy and a malay gal fall in luv and how their luv is challenged by their diverse culture, their foolishness and misunderstandings. Gubra is the continutation of Sepet's story. You can read the reviews here. Sepet. Gubra. They are now showing in the cinemas now. Fun One of my usual chill-out places is at Wala Wala, Holland village where they serve great food, good ambience, beautiful crowd & wonderful music from their live bands. But a warning, better go early to 'chop' a place if you going on a Saturday nite, the place starts to pack before 9pm.

Morning of Greyness...

2006-03-08T08:39:00.000+08:00

I didnt slept well for the past few days... work stress, family stress, money stress... and i think i got the flu virus from one of my tution student.. my body feels warm all over and my nose is like a spoiled tap, dripping non-stop since sunday. It's time to make an appointment with my doctor; a few days rest will do me good... i hope... btw, my thirteen year old student asked me this question out of sudden,

"Why are you still single?"

I am still searching for the answer.

Comic strip taken from Parka

Stop that irritation...!

2006-03-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

My boss has this habit giving instructions in stages, which I found it, very irritating and frustrating. Today she is away from the office, and because I am attending a meeting on her behalf, she keeps smsing me. Three hours before the meeting starts "Have you done up the PowerPoint which I asked you to do yesterday?" “Yah!" “Good, Thanks” An hour later “email to me. I want to see” Power point sent Half an hour later “change XXX to yyy in slide no x” Another half an hour later “change back yyy to XXX; that data looks better” Another 15 mins later “can you check XXX data again? The figures *looks funny” *implied she wants me to change the figures. So I spent the next 20 mintues on checking and replied her that the variance is less than 5% “Ok, then dun need to change” “U sure?” “Ya” 5 minutes before the meeting “Please change that number before you go for the meeting! Thanks” . . . Hey Boss,...can you make up your mind for once!

Let's Wait n See...

2006-03-03T12:46:00.000+08:00

My boss sensed that I was v. upset and apathetic ever since i knew my value of my contribution to the Company was not appreciated. I have been going back on time everyday, taking longer breaks and turning down new works assigned to me, quoting the reason of projects over-loading and shortage of manpower to assist me. She called me in yesterday morning and re-assessed my performance rating. I was given a rating from above-average to excellent performer. With this new rating, she promised to try for another salary review for me in the coming mid-year evaluation. I guess she is trying to get me to be more motivated. Honestly, I am not so optimistic about her assurance. *** Update – I haven received any calls for interview yet. :( Is our unemployment rate still very high?

Please do a good deed today...

2006-03-02T11:41:00.000+08:00

The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on “fund free mammograms” (pink window in the middle). This doesn’t cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammograms in exchange for advertising. Do a good deed today.... by visting their site and kinsly spread this message to the people you know http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Your click is just a moment away to save lives.

Stuppid PMS...

2006-02-28T23:03:00.000+08:00

How can a cheerful, kind and helpful colleague (like me) transform into a bitchy, frazzled, overwrought, emotional and over-sensitive lass overnight? The answer, She is suffering from PMS

Characteristics of the CAT(therine)

2006-02-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder myself, being named as CATherine, I seem to encompass a number of this creature’s personality. Cats loved fish. I love sashimi. In fact, my obsession with this cuisine has turn into a weekly affair. My favourite hunt is at the Sakae Sushi; and an average i need at least 4 plates of sashimi to satisfy my appetite. Cats has a reputation as a solitary animal Even though others may view me as a fun-loving and lively being, there are times when I do just wan to be alone, sorting out of my thoughts. Cats are intelligent What can I say about this? Being top in class (only once) in primary school. Sad to say nowadays my brain seem to be working slower..perhaps I am too stressed. Stress makes me forget about things. Remember, I forgot to bring my workplace keys once to office and end up reading newspapers. Cats are independent I stop relying on my parents for allowances and school fees ever since I began my tertiary education. Earned my school fees by doing part-time works like giving tuition and helping my professor in the university laboratory. Cats often have a reputation as fussy eaters. I am not a courageous eater. If I like a particular food in a food stall or canteen, most likely I will be buying the same food 3 times in a week. Cats are lazy, they sleep on an average of 13-14 hrs a possible average, but some cats sleep as much as 20 hours in a 24-hours period. I am not really a person who sleeps a lot, I sleep an average of six to seven hours, however I have a bad habit of taking a long time to drag myself out of bed in the morning, despite of having three alarm clocks… So dear all my fellow readers, which animal do you posses the greatest comparable qualities in?

It's just one sentence that gets me moving...

2006-02-22T09:21:00.000+08:00

I had my performance review recently.. and guess what, even though i done a fanastic job, working late, shouldering more responsibilities and did a little boot-licking.. I was skipped for promotion and salary review by my Boss's boss.. (SHITTTT....) "Unless you belong to the Sales or Operations team.. otherwise you are just any other employee who is replaceable..." The next morning, i sent out a dozen of my resume.

I wish I can be naughty...

2006-02-18T23:57:00.000+08:00

I get to know a very charming, handsome n attractive guy recently, and he tried to ask me out for a date repeatedly. Why repeatedly? He is a 'daring' guy. The first time he asked, he suggested perhaps we can have a dinner at his place n i m always feel free to 'stay' overnite = which in translating in my opinion he may be looking for a ONS (One-nite Stand). The first asking "i dun stay over at a guy's place." "How about i send you home after the date?" "We see how it's goes" The second asking "So how our date? Dun you wish to see my new place?" If i m not a rational woman, i wish i can be naughty instead.

Don't buy into the facade of love

2006-02-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

"What happens when that feeling dies or changes, as all feelings will over time? Do we change partners the way we do in a social dance? Do we consistently search for the elusive high that we get each time we fall in love with someone?" "Love is not a feeling, but a constant decision that we make. Love demands that we choose each other constantly despite coming across alternatives." Link

I can make people smile...

2006-02-16T08:57:00.000+08:00

I brighten someone's day, n its feels good! Link

How beautiful am I...?

2006-02-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

cartoon strip from Parka Blog

A reader is suggesting since i am looking for luv...perhaps i should consider to have my pictures posted in my blog to increase my chances of getting hitched. I disagree. Firstly, I always hate taking pictures of myself coz i dun think i m pretty. Pretty means big eyes, long flowing hair, fair skin, slender legs, small waist and C-cup chest. I neither consist of the above qualities. Secondly, i dun like the idea of my guy being shallow; if he is attracted based on my looks, then how intellectual can he be? He probably uses his dick than his brain to think most of the time. Lastly, looks are not everything. I may not be stunning, but at least i am adorable at times n can make people laugh.. So, dun ask me again how i look like. You just need to know that i am ordinary plain Catherine.

Corrinne May's Singapore Concert Pictures 12 February 2006

2006-02-15T09:06:00.000+08:00

With the couresty of a blogger-fren (Thanks, Wyxn), Pictures of Corrinne May's concert on 12 February 2006 can be viewed here. Concert Review Link (for 12 February 2006) Link (for 13 February 2006)

Sometimes I wish...

2006-02-15T08:45:00.000+08:00

I m getting tired of my non-official working hours... If it's not becoz i have to bring home the bacon, i will have quit... Sometimes i wish i m born with a silver spoon in my mouth, or find a rich husband, stay home n be a tai-tai. If I can have a lazy way out of this rat race... then please God, just let me be the next grand prize winner of the coming Toto (Singapore version of lottery). The prize. 1.5 million dollars

When One gets too bored....

2006-02-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

I goggle my name.. n look what i found! I am a professional screenwriter & freelance copy writer; I am a Biology Teacher in a Girls' School; I am a 13 year old kid born on a ninth of August.

Valentine Day...

2006-02-14T16:11:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine Day Today is the day whereby the Roses, Candle-lighted dinners and Hearted-shaped gifts are overpriced. A day where couples declared their ever-dying luv and Singles stayed at home as their hideout. How's mine...? Just a normal day of enormous work to be cleared, meetings to attend and reports to write. My galfrens invited me to their ladies nite party at a downtown place. But just for today, i just want to have a quiet nite.

My career choice...

2006-02-13T22:46:00.000+08:00

For the past few days, i have pondering whether to continue my present job that comes with a supporting boss and wonderful colleagues but peanuts pay; or follows my brain (which keep nagging me - Gal, please do something about ur paycheck) and my heart (which telling me to do something that i like).. Finding a job that is high-paying is tough; unless i wan to do sales or marketing-related. But i know i not cut out to go into that profession. I dun believe in earning my bacon by lying to my clients, asking them to believe the goods/service that i am selling are fanastic and dammed the sales quota. Finding a job that that i have a passion for, doesnt comes with great paycheck neither. How much does a screen writer gets? Barley enough for me to survive the present high standard of living if i continue want to live in tidy sunny island. Be my own boss? Huh.. even tougher.. I'm seldom good in dollars & cents and i believe to be successful in business, you need Opportunities+Hard Work+Luck; i m lacking elements 1 & 3. I know i sound crazy.. At one point, I really tempt to apply for the post of film reviewer @ the MDA... so that i can watch movies every single working hours. Well, at least, the job pays well, great benefits and i get to enjoy what i doing...

Single and Loving it

2006-02-10T22:05:00.000+08:00

The following writing is not from me. It is written by a Straits Times reader on her thoughts on an article featuring Singles whom are not dating or in a relationship. I re-published it on my blog coz I share her same sentimentsl on "You don't need to be attached in order to be happy. By Lim Shushan - 10 February 2006 I REFER to your Valentine's Day Special (Lonely Hearts Club, Urban, Feb 2). It featured single individuals who want to date and be in a relationship. I would like to add a word for singles who do not want to date or be in a relationship, but who are happy - and will be happy indeed - this coming Valentine's Day. Some singles enjoy singlehood for a few reasons. The first obvious one is freedom. It does not necessarily mean that singles cannot stay committed and that they want to play the field. Simple freedom allows you to engage in a wide range of activities without having to account for someone else, such as going for a quiet holiday or clubbing till daybreak. Second, it is no secret that romantic relationships are almost always accompanied by pain. I don't only mean negative aspects of romantic love such as jealousy, suspicion or possessiveness. Romantic love is painful. When you miss someone, you pine for him. When she is distraught or sad, you will also feel the pain. When he dies, you are devastated. Some people just prefer to opt out of such pain. Third, the process of finding Mr or Ms Right can be unpleasant and frustrating, like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Frankly, some of us just prefer not to spend our days searching for needles in haystacks. After I stopped searching and decided I was happier by not being in a relationship, I felt liberated. Finally, I could do something else. Fourth, it's a myth that singles are devoid of love or are always lonely. A lot of singles (be they young or old) are involved in an impressive range of activities like church work or volunteering. These activities may or may not be social in nature, but it's just wrong to think as many have, that being single means being lonely. After all, romantic love is only one kind of love. Finally, I refer to Hazel Yong's article on the two single women in their 40s who regretted not marrying earlier. The problem about hindsight is that it is almost always accompanied by rose-tinted glasses. Both the women did not seem to have found 'The One', someone they truly love. Even if they had married someone else, they cannot be sure that they won't be stuck in an unhappy, loveless marriage. I end this letter with a quote by your reporter Sujn Thomas in that feature: 'Deep inside all of us is a void that yearns to be filled by someone special, whether one chooses to admit or not. If that void remains empty, we fill it with other things.' I'm not sure that important figures in history like Mother Teresa had that kind of void 'that yearns to be filled by someone special'. We fill our own voids. I shall fill mine with anything but a lover.

An Attempt to leave office on dot...

2006-02-08T13:30:00.000+08:00

Really getting sick of my non-offical working hours, eating cold dinners & a need to revive my social life. This morning, I reached office before 7am, hoping to clear my emails and leave exactly at 5pm. I'm really 'in-luck'. I forgot to bring my office keys. I spent the next 120 minutes reading newspapers. Shit!!!

Envy, Jealous, Dissatisfaction...

2006-02-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

Nowadays, each time when i am asked to fill in my occupation detail on lucky draws coupons or doing surveys online, my reply will be; Occuption : Overworked & Underpaid Snr Executive **** I realised i m really underpaid when my younger sister whom graduated six months ago from university got her xth credit cards and just applied a supplementary card for my mum. I remember applying my 1st credit card 6 years ago... Should really get to go for job hunting... *** I 'm overstreched now... my non-offical working hours is 8am to 8pm

Corrinne May's Singapore Concert 12-13 February 2006

2006-02-06T14:59:00.000+08:00

"You keep me flying, you keep me smiling You keep me safe in a crazy world You understand me, embrace my fragility You keep me safe in a crazy world And in your arms I find the strength To believe in me again --Safe in a Crazy World, Corrinne May

Her 12 February's tickets were sold out within 2 weeks of launching, and an extra show of 13 February is selling fast too... For the lucky ones whom managed to get hold of the tickets, see you there! (Yes, i'm attending both nights!!) :)

My line of Heart...

2006-02-03T09:18:00.000+08:00

Palmistry is the latest interest which my friend picks up recently and she was sharing her new knowledge with me when we meet up for dinner on Tuesday. "Your heart line has a strong branch that touches the life line indicates that you are someone who is easily hurt in love. Too many branches on the heart line also indicate that you tend to evaluate too much before falling in love, and sometimes love just slip pass you..." For that, I must praise her for being a diligent student.

Under-paid, Over-worked and Stressed...

2006-02-02T10:03:00.000+08:00

I realised i'm v.v.v.v. underpaid based on my profession/age group/qualification/years of experience coz my junior from university called me up yesterday to announce she got a new job with similar job duties like mine; but has a pay increment of 50% over her last drawn salary despite of no relevant experience. n yes, i was working extremely late yesterday till close midnite. I'm tired. Too much work, my assistant just transferred out last month, n I kenna assigned to new projects on the first day of work upon returning from the long holidays. My Boss better give me my over-due promotion this year, if not; Time to start for a job HUNT! Arruggghhhhhhh...

Weddings, weddings and Mmore weddings...

2006-02-01T10:14:00.000+08:00

Each cny’s gatherings, me n my cousins will get together to blather on each others’ ‘minor’ achievements i.e. who change or driving new car, stories of their traveling to some exotic places, change job etc. These are what I had learnt so far from this gathering… My second-in-distance cousin whom is the same age as mine is getting married this year August and his partner is my fellow secondary schoolmate who is a year younger in me. And for the 1st time, I realize she has been a vegetarian for eight years. My elder male cousin whom I got a crush in him when I was eight years old and is older than me by two years registered his marriage last year September, and just got his keys to his new 5-rooms flat. He prefers to get his flat done and save enough to buy a plasma TV before deciding which hotel to choose for his wedding dinner. I pity his wife. W, my elder female cousin whom is a year older than me, working in IBM, is now currently furniture-shopping with her finance for their new flat. She is holding her wedding dinner in March at one of the posh hotels along orchard road and invites us to a top-notched disco for a pre-wedding party. Finally, all eyes looked at me..., they asked, “when will it be my turn?” I just give them a cranky smile…

I will survive...

2006-01-30T22:03:00.000+08:00

Inspired by the film "Coyote Ugly" n My parent's fight... I WILL SURVIVE....

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified

Kept thinkin'

I could never live without you by my side

Then I spent so many nights

Just thinking how you did me wrong

And I grew strong

Oh no not I, I will survive

For as long as I know how to love,

I know I'll stay alive

I've got all my life to live

And I've got all my love to give

I'll survive

I will survive

It took all the strength

I had not to fall apart

Just trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart

And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high

And you see me, somebody new.."

A peek into my World...

2006-01-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

福(fu)= Fortune

心想事成(Xin Xiang Shi Cheng) = May all wishes come true

Horrible Start...

2006-01-29T01:06:00.000+08:00

Horrible day... Parent had a quarrel.. led to a fight... Police was called to mediate... No one was in the mood for the Reunion dinner. n the Bank account with only two-digits balance to last till the next pay-day. That's really a 'great' start to the new year...

CNY Blues…

2006-01-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

The Chinese New Year (CNY) is three days away now. Maybe I been working too much late nights since the start of the year and are exhausted from the annual house-cleaning too; I’m not in the festive CNY mood this year. And it seems like the first three days of this CNY is going to be dull for me. No need to give tuition; limited friends I can ask to go out with (Some again went holidaying to escape from the boring annual visits or others are at their relatives’ places and not free to entertain), no malls to shop, no libraries to go, no interesting movies to see, no car to use and still tons of work(reports) to do. Of course I will be doing my annual visits. But these can be covered within one day. So in order to keep myself occupied, I will be doing… a. Work (again…) b. Rent dvds/vcds or see repeated lunar special shows c. Read past issues of magazines/books d. catch-up on Zzzzz…. e. Resuming my exercise routine; I have been 'un-motivate' to exercise since the December’s marathon in last year... But wait, I just realized my gym membership expired.. f. Eat n eat the new year goodies n see the kilos piling. g. Playing Mahjong (but still waiting for invitations…) Actually, come to think of it, it might be a good idea to have a quiet new year. At least i can get to rest n relax and be a pig (eat, sleep & do nothing) for the long weekend.

Dragon-She in a Doggie Year 2006...

2006-01-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

As the dog year approaches every single day, my luck gets worse each minute. It seems that my Lady Luck decided to take a break in the coming new year. Well, I cant blame her. 2006 is a “Fire Dog” year; and Dragons dun thrive well in the doggie year. In addition, Dragons are in direct conflict with the Grand Duke Jupiter this year, therefore the year ahead of them will not be smooth. Click here if you want to know what is your zodiac sign Click here if you want to know your fortunate for 2006 Back to the topic of my ill fortune's tale, my luck is so low on saturday when the car i drove kena bumped yesterday while I’m out for shopping with my Mum at the Chinatown. No major damages, but just some minor scratches on the car rear’s bumper. The driver must have hit my car while he was doing his parking. Yes, I’m irate that the culprit fled and there is no way for me to know whom did it. Whomever this person is, may u be blessed with the bad luck through the year. By the way, I got this from the Buddha tooth Relic temple (Singapore) to counter bad luck and hope for a smooth year this year.

The front pendant shows my Zodiac animal – Dragon.

The reverse shows the name of my Zodiac protector Bodhisattvas. There is a symbolic message which translate into “With Buddha’s blessing, one’s bad luck will be eliminated. Good tidings will ensue.". I really hope that works.

The Temple does sell other zodiacs’ pendants as well. If you wish to buy, it is located at the opposite of the Maxwell food market. The proceeds of the sale will go to the funds of their new temple. You can also choose to donate some money as well. Remember New Year is coming, do more good deeds… for better luck! I know it's a bit early for a New Year Greeting.. but looking at my working schedule & late nites i have been working since the start of the year.. I doubt i have time to blog this few few days.

So in this case, Wishing everyone a... GONG HE XIN XI

恭贺新禧

Missing Him...

2006-01-19T20:12:00.000+08:00

I was reading one of my favourite blogger, Finicky Feline's posting on which she was surprised that even though she doesnt keep in touch with her ex-boyfriend anymore, he stills read her blog often for updates on her life. Unfortunately (or fortunately), my ex-bf (The midget) doesnt not know i have a blog, so he doesnt has the slighest idea of knowing that i still think of him sometimes, yet hating him also for leaving me such a bitter-sweet memories of the brief relationship. But on the other hand, he might be reading this now. If he is, i guess he is not telling me. In whatever way, I just wish to know how is he now. Is he happy without me? Has he got himself someone new? Or, Is he missing me the same way as i do now...?

My Right Eye is Twitching...

2006-01-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

An old folks tale... When your left eye twitchs mean something not good is coming to your way OR you may end up crying. And if your right eye twitchs means something good is coming Or you'll meet someone far i.e. a relative or close friends. Today, my right eye keeps twitching... So.. Eye, what are you trying to tell me? I didnt kena 4D top prize today hor!

Travel plan - Help wanted!

2006-01-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

My adventurous spirit comes craving again for another interesting expediation... As i m planning my this year travel agenda.. i realise there are so many places that i want to go.. but with limited resources i possess... Time & $$... I can only go to ONE place... Places i toying to visit this year

1. Finish my Tasmania tour. I want to visit Mount Cadle (missed it last year).. After that, hop over to Sydney for a few days.

2. Go to Shanghai - I got some friends there.. n perhaps spend a week @ HongKong & Macau

3. Vietnam - Climbed Mount Fansipan, the highest mountain in Vietnam & IndoChina. Visit Hanoi after that 4. Nepal??? 5. ????? So anyone, please help me to pick one or give another suggestion? (No shopping trips.. please..!)

Just let me be...

2006-01-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

The concern of my status of being solitary and the bare minimum of suitors has raise to another level recently; or I should put it to an official level. My boss knew my rejection to the recent suitor which I inadvertently had a slip of mouth of the subject while playing mahjong at her place on one evening. “Come on gal, lower down your standards… you’re not young anymore; give others a chance, give yourself an opportunity to know more people as well” that what she say. And with that, she tried to match-make me with one of her eligible male friends, pestering me to consider to go on a date with him. First of all, before I’m to continue, I dun own anyone any explanation on my dating life. But I truly want the description of being ‘fussy’ out of my so-called label and stop asking me to give chances to guys I dun like! For that suitor, I cannot deny sensing of his affection towards me. But I dun see myself wanting to waste his (or my) time together knowing that I dun feel any romantically sensation towards him. Feelings have to be mutual. It is oblivious that there is no chemistry between the two of us. It is tiring to carry on a conversation with only running, mountaineering and work. In fact, I hate to talk about work. I cannot stand his sensitive nose; especially the nose-wheezing sound it makes. He is trying too hard to please me. I need a man with a firm opinion of his own, not agree to everything i say. I know I’m not a beauty, but please, I prefer my other half not balding at the age of thirties. I’m definitely looking for someone who can be fanatical with me at times, knowing that I can be impulsive at times. Anyway, I have indicated to my boss that I wont want M (the guy she is matching-making me to) to ask me out as thought as he is forced to do so. and NO, I am not that hard to pursue. If you can find the ‘attraction’ button in my heart like my midget ex, Bingo! I’m all yours. I m really really tired to be pressured to date... Just let me be... ok

Is it because of the rain...?

2006-01-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

Rain… These few days, the sky keeps pouring.. And perhaps is this cascading climate that got me sentimental all of the sudden... Especially late at nite, all alone in the darkness, the only sound that comes to the ears are howling of the wind and pouring of the droplets. “Have you ever found the one You dreamed of all your life? You'd do just about anything To look into their eyes Have you finally found the one You've given your heart to? Only to find that one Won't give their heart to you Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there? And all you can do is wait For the day when they will care” Have you Ever Brandy And this is the song got me crying unintentionally...

What those words on your yearly performance reviews REALLY means?

2006-01-11T09:55:00.000+08:00

As a Human Resource Professional, I must admit the interpretations are quite true... Now I FINALLY understand why my Boss always says I got 'Exceptionally Good Judgement' especially when projects got screwed up...

I'm a Fucking Loser in Luv...

2006-01-09T00:46:00.000+08:00

My mum nagged at me yesterday’s morning over breakfast before I set off for my dragon-boat practice. Asked me why I m still single and solicited the possibility of match-making with her friend’s son or helping me to sign up a radio’s talk-show for singles. As usual, I got irritated of her well-intention and tried to divert the topic like recent monsoon downpour. She raised the question again. There’s no way I could escape without responding. I saw my mum’s worried face when I told her of my intention of staying lone for the rest of my life if there is still no guy when I reach the big three O. What’s wrong with that? I can still have a fulfilling life without a man and sex. Man & Sex do complicate life sometimes. As for kids, I guess I might settle for adoption. One is sufficient. As much my mum knows that I have started dating, I, do try but having to search a guy that I like, share the same values and visions as mine, and settling down together is like achieving the impossible task. "I dont want to be tied To anyone's string I'm carefully trying to steer clear Of those things But when I'm asleep I want someody Who will put their arms around me And kiss me tenderly" Depeche Mode's Somebody Yah, In love, I admit I’m a fucking loser.

Fengshui Tips for Year of Fire Dog 2006

2006-01-06T13:04:00.000+08:00

Got this from one of the fengshui's forum which i visit frequently...

1. Carry a symbolic gold abacus in your wallet for prosperity and to protect you from harm. The gold abacus, which should resemble the real abacus in aminiature form, indicated that a person would have lots of money tocount in the new year. Place the gold abacus together with your coins in the wallet. The gold can protect from harm in 2006

2.The Lunar Year of the Fire Dog, would be a great year for business because it combined strong yang of strong fire and strongearth elements, which was represented by the dog.

3. Do good deeds for the year for better fortune to come.

4. Those born in the Year of the Dog or Dragon are advised to carry a gold rooster for good luck.

5. In the first 15 days of the Lunar New Year beginning Jan 29, people should buy or receive calculators so that they would have lots of moneyto count the whole year round,"

6. Feng shui enthusiasts should avoid dangerous activities and utter only positive words such as, "Yes, my sales would be coming invery soon" for good luck.

7. People to be careful while driving, adding that therecould also be natural disasters, a flu epidemic as well as illnesses affecting hairy animals.

8. A good year to get married and have babies. The year also favours males who stand a better chance in winning competitions, including singing contests.

9. The stock market will generally slow down a little due to cautious investors. But, there may be a sudden craze for horse-racing because itis about fire and earth elements,"

After the celebrations...

2006-01-04T09:56:00.000+08:00

2006, A brand new start, a brand new work year. Most people started their new work day yesterday with zest. But not me. I dragged myself to office yesterday. This morning feel like calling in sick (My throat hurts). Perhaps I’m suffering from a post-festive blues; indulging too much drinks, rich (sinful) food and good accompany for the past weeks. It seems to me, days after a new year, or a festive season, my mood is usually unsettling; restless and bored. Maybe I know that after all the celebrations, my life will go back to normal. The usual routine of going to work, attending trainings, giving tuitions and quiet nights. Btw, did I mentioned that I weight myself this morning and it is telling me to drink less, start to be more committed to my training schedule, watch less DVDs, and stop consuming too much food delicacies. Perhaps that explains why I sound so crabby today.

Who stays on in your mind?

2006-01-03T12:47:00.000+08:00

THIS is a good quiz to start the year: 1. Name the five richest people in the world. 2. Name 10 Pulitzer Prize winners. 3. Name five Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. How did you do? It's tough to remember the headliners of yesterday. The applause dies and accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. Here's another quiz. 1. List a few teachers who helped you through school. 2. Name three friends who helped you through a difficult time. 3. Name five people who taught you something worthwhile. 4. Think of a few people who made you feel appreciated and special. 5. Think of five people you enjoy being with. Easier? The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care. Source : The New Paper (TNP) - Singapore 3 Jan 2006

What's the Reason...?

2006-01-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

As I woke up this morning on a new year, a thought came to my mind out of a sudden. All this while, having searching and waiting for luv to come, What is my real purpose of going into a relationship? Is it because my biological clock is ticking every minute, every second? Is it everyone i know is married, about to get married or is in a steady relationship? Is it because of loneliness that i trying to escape? Is it because i addicted to its sweetness & bitterness? Is it i am looking a perfect excuse just to act girlish? or is it simply the lust I carving for? I wish i know the answer.

Good Bye 2005, Welcome 2006…

2005-12-30T14:59:00.000+08:00

Finally after tomorrow..it's the start of a new year, a new beginning. 2005 may not be my best year, but definitely a memorable year. 2005 I have done… Starts to blog about life and love

Starts to date and realising that i m still a novice in this game

Started and Ended a relationship

Ran my first (qtr) marathon

Climbed two mountains

Backpacked Tasmaina/Melbourne

Started driving (again)

First attempt to write a script

And finally, got to know mind-alike frens in the blogosphere :) My new resolutions for 2006 Stop being a heart-breaker.

Stop being a cynic

Run a half-marathon

Learn a third language (Korean or Thai) or motor-cycling??

Aim for that promotion or change Job that has better pay!

Pick up Scuba-diving (Enough of climbing mountains!)

Grow my hair long enough to tie a pony-tail

Take good care of my skin to stop showing signs of aging (especially when approaching the Three O)

Clear my credit cards debt

Continue to lose weight

Improving my relationship with my family (esp. my father)- need to let go of the emotional baggage.

You may ask why I do not list down finding my true love as one of my resolution in a new year… I believe if it’s meant to happen.. it will happened, no use looking for it any longer. Perhaps he has just pass me..

Have a blessing New Year… everyone!

ad Home Sweet Home...from Bangkok

2005-12-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

Hi Eveeryone... I'm back..!!! I'm exhausting... but I had much fun these few days.. Bought tons of goodies, ate cheap & delicious food and had a good Thai massage... :) Sorry.. no pictures to share... coz i sold my camera ~~to fund this trip~~ and my camera phone was spolit after being dropped in the swimming pool by her careless mistress whom placed her handphone on the pool table while at her fren's pre-xmas gathering.. What I bought... 4 Bags (others gals like shoes... I love bags!) 6 bags & coin purses to give away (i.e. colleagues, mum, sisters) One 'Fake' LV wallet... which i kena carrot (carrot meant conned) 2 pair of shoes 1 pair of sandals 1 ah-go-go top 2 working blouses 4 thai silk cushion cover for my new sofa @ living room 1 scarf for my boss 1 bikini set :p 6 cutie handphone deco 1 handphone cover (for my so-to-be-purchase-as-to-replace-my-earlier-spolit-phone) Alot of pork floss & cuttlefish Where I Went Visit to the famous Four-faced buddha shrine near the world trade centre/erawan hotel Shopper's Paradise of the East - Chatuchak weekend market where One can really shop till drop (Their makets are as huge as six football fields!) SuanLum nite bazzar - Be warned! Stuff there are expensive... Chinatown aka Yuwarat for their food i.e. sharkfin & bird nest soup Sumpeng & Prahurat - For their wholesale markets Well-known Mah Boon Kong (MBK) & Siam Square areas So for those who are going to bangkok soon... Used my travel shopping itinerary and i gurantee u would shop till you are ~~broke~~ happy... :p I'm going to unpack my stuff liao... Ciao...

Christmas @ Bangkok...

2005-12-23T09:44:00.000+08:00

For the past few days, I have been busy… Busy in attending many of my friends’/ex-colleagues/ex-classmates/training mates’ pre-Christmas gatherings coz most of us either will be celebrating with our loved ones, attending Christmas church mass or away for this festive season… I’m so excited…in less than 6 hours…I am flying off… Yippee!! Celebrating my Christmas @ Bangkok… Shopping, Eating, Clubbing… Be back on Monday… But before I go off….

Merry Christmas… Everyone!

Learning to Luve...

2005-12-20T16:03:00.000+08:00

In life, it is bliss to end up marrying the one that you love most. However, most of us are not. It is often that we can't be with the one that we love but often end up marry the one we learn to love. But how do you learned to love someone, without learning how to stop loving the one that you love initially. A close friend of mine once mentioned to me that many guys will love to hang out with me if I give them the opportunities. Am I wrong to shut them out of my life? I tried. I went on a date on last Sunday. Someone whom I have been correspond for the past three months. Someone whom I thought I might be interested in. The date went comfortably well. Obviously he liked me a lot. He made a keen indication to set another date to have dinner soon. However, I declined his invitation because I did not feel the love sparks around me. He wasn’t someone I desired. I do not want to hurt him by trying to like him, but yet unable to reciprocate his interest, this would make the both of us miserable in the end. This is not the relationship I yearned. Honestly, I dun know what I want in a partner. Perhaps a partner should make me feel comfortable with. Someone whom is able to let me laugh at his jokes. Someone whom is able to bring out my best qualities. Someone whom I would not remain egocentric. Someone whom I am willing to let him enter my heart and be part of my life. Someone whom I have feelings strong enough to carry me through the inevitable problems and obstacles I 'll faced in life; Someone who will help me through his and let me help him through mine. Or Someone who is willing to say the three magical words to me and I would not have the slightness doubtless in believing them. “I Love You” It has been a long time… I miss them

How I Live My Life...

2005-12-20T08:47:00.000+08:00

Another of those senseless quiz... How accurate is this test? Point 1 & 4 reflect 100% the true self of me

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You are always tactful and diplomatic. You let people down gently. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

My Infamous Blog...

2005-12-16T15:30:00.000+08:00

Yippee…My blog got featured in an infamous website

Sappy Site of the week at Heartless Bitches International

I m not sure whether I should be thrilled or pissed off to be honored by them... but looking at their ‘lovely’ introduction on my blog.. I nearly wanted to ask them to re-write that prologue ..

“Could this girl be any more deluded?

Want to bet her cutesy bedroom is awash in photos of movie stars like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Lindsey Lohan? (She quotes from Notting Hill: add Julia Roberts to her photo gallery).

Want to bet she sleeps with dolls and stuffed animals? She's hoping to replace that with a guy,I imagine, but in spite of her being an adult it sounds like the heavy breathing of a teenage diary.

Wanna bet she's married in a year to some shmuck she barely knows and then writes another blog about how great it is to be married? And then how great it is to be a mommie? I can hardly wait.

Some real Gems here from our Gidget: "Love is like a butterfly...the more you pursue it, the more it eludes you." Obviously she's been reading Whitman....”

Unfortunately, my little cutesy bedroom‘s walls are non-matched to their imagination. No Tom Cruise nor Katie Holmes lives at my place. Instead, a study table, and a wall cupboard that is dumped with books, CDs and junks inhabited. ~~Hopefully, I hope to replace all those with portraits of my other half soon (If I manage to find him)~~ Sharing my bed with dolls & stuff animals..? Nope, I m too selfish to offer them a space. … Besides I have a long pair of legs and they need plenty of room to budge around.

“Wanna bet she's married in a year to some shmuck she barely knows”

I’m tempting to ask them how big is their bet? Anyway, they better prepare to lose it coz as I am living in my own little disillusioned world of love now, and only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony. I doubt I be getting married in the agreed year’s time unless someone offer to pay me 1 million bucks! ( like what Robert Redford did in Indecent Proposal to Demi Moore)

“then writes another blog about how great it is to be married? And then how great it is to be a mommie? I can hardly wait”

Well.. they can certainly wait of course, I dun mind...afterall, it’s their time that they are wasting while I’m searching for my ‘He’ but I hope I wont disappointed my audience with my bored rambling of being in martial bliss and showing pictures of my adorable kids.. Promise not to get envious..?

Some real Gems here from our Gidget: "Love is like a butterfly...the more you pursue it, the more it eludes you." Obviously she's been reading Whitman....

Thanks again for their compliment.. I have been a bookworm since child… Fyi, my reading collection is wide, ranging from the most boring dictionary to the self-help ~~(or helpless)~~ guide on how to get a guy hooked ~~within a decade~~. Fine, enough of these nonsense... I should dedicated to Heartless Bitches International with another of the Whitman’s quote;

I exist as I am, that is enough.

Btw, they should have linked to my another legendary postings, like this, this or this to increase my chances of getting off the singles’ shelf…Haizz…

Come to though of it, I m kind of happy that my blog traffic has burst to a three digits hits in a day and the realization of many heartless bitches out there in this world who ‘actually likes’ my blog. :)

Men and Women: Worlds Apart

2005-12-15T12:33:00.000+08:00

HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. and the best advice goes to; HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. Source : The New Paper (TNP) - Singapore 15 Dec 2005

What does my handwriting say about ME?

2005-12-15T09:08:00.000+08:00

What does your handwriting say about YOU? The results of your analysis say: You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry. You are a person who thinks before acting, intelligent and thorough. You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish. You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody! You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others. My conclusion on this test 85% accurateness

When the writings stop...

2005-12-14T13:12:00.000+08:00

It is disheartening to know that one of my favourite bloggers decides to commit blogicide this coming new year. “My thoughts dictate my writing. What happens to my beliefs if I stop writing? Would I live a fuller life because my focus shifts from the destination to the journey? I don’t know. I intend to find out. Plus I don’t want to play to the gallery anymore, which is likely to be what happens when one writes regularly for eyeballs

I intend to shut down this blog on Jan 1, 2006”

(Dec 3, 2005)

Janice Wong, the Single Picky Gal who shares her world of thoughts & beliefs on life and love for the past 6.5 years. Her ups & downs can be sensed from her writings. I too have been sharing my life with the world these past months.

Sometimes it scares me when the thought of strangers knew about my worries and fears; but at the same time; it is gratifying to know somewhere in this world, there are ardent romantics like me whom are waiting patiently for our designated partners, and together, both will embarked on a journey to contentment. I wonder if one day, if I am ever tired of waiting for love and my writings stop;

Will anyone miss me?

Perhaps Love 如果。爱

2005-12-08T10:08:00.000+08:00

Watched Perhaps Love last nite... wasnt as marvelous as i expected so... but neverletheless, its main theme song sung by Jacky Chueng touch a chord in me deeply. It actually summarizes what Luv is all about... 歌曲：如果爱歌手：张学友专辑：电影如果爱主题曲每个人都想明白谁是自己生命不该错过的真爱特别在午夜醒来更是会感慨心动埋怨还有不能释怀都是因为你触碰了爱如果这就是爱再转身就该勇敢留下来就算受伤就算流泪都是生命里温柔灌溉哦爱在回忆里总是那么明白困惑的心流过的泪还有数不清黑夜等待如果这就是爱如果你当时明白后来的生命里是快乐还是悲哀特别在夜深人静时想起未来是否能平静不会想现在只是因为你拥有了爱如果这就是爱再转身就该勇敢留下来就算受伤就算流泪都是生命里温柔灌溉哦爱在回忆里总是那么明白困惑的心流过的泪还有数不清黑夜等待如果这就是爱如果这就是爱

What’s wrong with holding out for my Mr. Right?

2005-12-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

I have some attached & married friends congratulating on my recent marathon success. “So since you have managed to complete a (quarter) marathon… how about try fulfilling the next task; to find yourself a boyfriend and settling down? We have been getting quite worried for you. If you dun hurried, you going to be left on the shelf soon..” I can set my mind and soul to achieve those tangible objectives... but when comes to the affair of the heart… I’m totally vulnerable. Why? Coz she believes that some day, she will meet her ideal partner. Her heart will goes pitter-patter, and almost ascertain, she knows that he is “The One”. The more both of them communicate, the more she can feel that he understands her. They share the same views on life and values.. He will tear down the gigantic wall around her heart, unlock the millions chains and steal her heart away where no one else has managed to succeed. They fall in love and they will live happy forever. Forever.. But that only happens in fairy-tales. She forgets she is living in the real world. Real world of where infidelity exits and luve is treated like a game for many. You may think that she is naïve, or even ask her to stop this obsession of holding out for her Mr Right – The Man whom might never appeared and better start thinking of her future and accept the next man whom happened to pass by and take a fancy of her. Except… what is wrong with her holding out for her Mr Right? She rather holds on to her belief that she & her Mr Right will fall in love passionately, cherish and support each other in times of sickness, poverty, joy and sorrow, giving each other the trust and the commitment to a ever-lasting marriage than to marry someone whom she doesn’t luve him completely, or even worse, ending up one day in separation with three kids in tow. Time will tell what Fate has in store for her. Let’s hope she is right this time and her Mr Right is worth the wait afterall.

My 1st marathon attempt...

2005-12-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

After ~~months~~ weeks of preparation in ~~forcing myself~~ waking pre-dawn and sacrifice my sunday evenings to train.. The long-awaiting moment has come.. Singapore Marathon 2005.. 4th December 2005 My 1st attempt to run a quarter marathon My number 30 task in my 43-things-to-do list Recalled that I hate to run during my school days, but now i'm actually challenge myself to do a marathon... haha... So, wish me ~~luck~~ determination, strength and some faith to finish this challenge.

By the end of the run, I will want to say this to myself;

"It doesn't matter whether I have come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. At least I can proudly say 'I have finished.'

Afternote:

My bib number & My finisher medal

I proudly proclaimed that I have completed this challenge at exactly 1hr 18 mins. Not really that fanastic in the timing... but hey, it was my 1st attempt.. n the hunger pangs rolled in after the 8km mark, so i was struggling in my last 2km.

Honestly, I feel good after the run, and i am toying the idea to go for the half-marathon challenge next year.

Anyone keen to join me..???

Luv is Over-Rated...

2005-12-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

I was listening to a certain radio station earlier while doing my blog-reading when this DJ’s was asking her listeners this question. What will your choice? but once you make your decision, you will not get the other two in your entire life. Great Luv Great Sex, OR, Great lots of money? And most of the listeners pick the first choice. What is this craze about Luv? What so wonderful about Luv? There is one listener who says, when u have great luv, everything will come into place. Is it? Then show me. Proof to me. Luv is overrated, hurting and there is no such thing as ‘Ever-lasting’ in its dictionary Give me money. I use it to buy ‘False’ Luv and ‘Terrific’ Sex anytime. Anyway, I’m not my usual craving-for-luv mood recently (as you can read from my lately posts),so any topics on luv now pissed me off. Ok.. I think I need my ice-cream antidote...

No Music in my Life...

2005-11-30T12:58:00.000+08:00

Music plays an important role in my life. There is always a song that represents the current state of my life. The last song that I picked was “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera "Everyday is so wonderful And suddenly, it's hard to breathe Now and then, I get insecure From all the pain, I'm so ashamed I am beautiful no matter what they say Words can't bring me down I am beautiful in every single way Yes, words can't bring me down, So don't you bring me down today” But recently, I’m having trouble identifying one. I can’t play forever-in-luv songs coz I’m not in love. I can’t play pending-hope-for-luv songs coz I’m doesn’t want to fall in luv, and I wan to be just by myself for this moment. I can’t play heart-breaking songs coz I didn’t fall out of love or yearning for anyone now I can’t play songs that fill of joy or tears coz I dun feel happiness or sadness towards any thing or any matter. It seems to me that I'm suddenly deprived of emotions. I’m aimless; I’m clueless. I doesn't know how my life will unfold, who will come into my life, what will be the next best thing in my life. and this situation seems to be getting worse and worse. I need some excitement. I need some directions. Life is getting too meaningless for me.

Contented, Fate and Life...

2005-11-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

A commenter pointed out that I am an easily satisfied person, perhaps too easily; little stuffs like indulging sinful food or a heartening chat with an old friend will perk me up on a stressful day. Maybe I am really. I am too laidback with the current stage of life now, resulting that my love life, career and finance are going downhill; and I am just too indolent to do anything. Or perhaps I have accepted my fate, stop whining how life is being unfair and just accepted what it has in-store for me; Or perhaps I am too tired to initial any changes now, for I am no longer a younger eighteen year old kid who is not fearful of the world’s menaces. On the another hand, perhaps I should be aggressive and start to take charge of my life. For whatever reasons it may be, just be me sit back for a while and use this time to sharpen my sword before embarking the long winding and dangerous road again that leads me, hopefully, at the end of the journey, to the happiness that I’m longing for.

Transformation...

2005-11-25T11:04:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling real bitchy, sleepy and tired... Must be the post-drinking consequence from last nite pubbing and the current PMS mood I'm feeling now... On top to add onto present irritation mood, i just received an annoying email from a certain co-worker from a certain department asking me to do a certain task which is not part of my job description. To the Fxxx with Him...! And the solution to this, it's either the Haagen Daz's Rum & Raisin ice-cream or Bak Kwas to transform me back to my usual non-bitchy self.

World of Luv...

2005-11-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

Love is not blind, it sees more not less; But because it sees more, it chooses to see less. - Anonymous

Have you ever wonder that sometimes you choose to see what u wish to see from your heart..?

A family of five who may be poor but there are warmth in their cozy small place called home which you might not see. A matching couple in terms of looks and status... but their luv for each other has long gone with the wind.

When the whole world doesnt believe in them, there are two people struggling to hold their luv and choose to be overcome the obstacles together.

Why do we refuse to acknowledge that deep down we do miss that special someone whom was once part of our life?

Why are people so mesmerized by the sun-set panoramas,whereas the sun-rise is just as beautiful?

For every separation, there are couples whom do spend their life together, you just dun know.

Being blinded by love is hard to get a clear vision unless your heart willing to drop the baggage.

Why not just step back today, take a breather, and see the world with a different luv at a new angle..

Perhaps the world of Luv is not as gloomy as it is.

There are still hope in this world,

you just need to wish and wait.

Thank you, J-Guys...

2005-11-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

Joe... Jason... Jimmy... Ordinary Martians names... But these are the names I would never forget. They once make my heart flickered; They taught me what luv is all about; They make a stronger and perhaps a better person out of me; They shown me the courage which I never thought I would possessed; and these are the very persons whom I allowed my heart to bleed profusely and my tears to flow freely. Thank you, for being a part of my life once...

The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It is a perpetual wound.

- Maureen Duffy

Luv is Irrational...

2005-11-18T09:49:00.000+08:00

It occurs to me that even though I urge for luv to come soon, at the same time, I am afraid. Afraid of what? U might ask… Afraid of not being to untangle myself away if the relationship turned acrimonious, and I end up being miserable. Why are some people still get into bad relationships and don't leave - worse yet, cling to them? They know that they no longer being loved. They are being hurt and abused at times. But they willing to accept all that, as part of the package, and in return, believing that their sacrifices are worth the luv they choose to believe in. Coz They are afraid.. afraid of being alone in the world... afraid they cant find another to luv. Afraid that their time & effort they spent into the relationship will all be gone. Afraid to accept the disappointment. Afraid of not being able to luv again. For them, it is not easy to let go…I know; for I was once part of them. During that time, I often cried myself to sleep, questioning myself over and over again why did I allowed myself to be in this desolation. But then, Love is irrational. Love is Blind. It takes an enormous effort to walk out of that bad relationship, n till now I have no regrets.

Love is not blind, it sees more not less;

But because it sees more, it chooses to see less.

- Anonymous

What she really means...

2005-11-16T12:48:00.000+08:00

Read this from the TNP (the Newspaper), Guess it might helps our Martians to understand the basic Venusians' language. I need = I want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper... I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shades Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive So Martians, will you guys be able to interpret this... Do you think I'm fat? = ?....

Hey.. Cupid...

2005-11-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

From those who understands me well.. They know for the longest time....that i have always longing for Cupid to take pity of me and waiting him to link me up using his arrow to any desirable and eligible guy to took a fancy of me. "See...You doing just fine now. Dun think too much about relationships. Dun hurry it and try not to look for it. When it's your turn, it will come looking for you. He will come along when you least expected." I wait n wait n Wait n I'm got real tired of waiting.. Waiting for him to appear in the least expected moment. Hey... Cupid... Can you ask him to hurry up? If not, I will go round n find him in the least expected mannner. n I swear that I make him fall in love with me instantly.

"People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened." — John W. Newbern.

What is your ambition in life?

2005-11-15T13:30:00.000+08:00

What is your ambition in life? I recalled being asked during my primary school composition lesson. As a nine year old kid, believing that the world was as only as huge as my eyes could see, I wanted to be an Astronaut. I loved the stars and the only way to get close to them was to fly there. After realized that stars are actually little planets which are impossible for me to grab one and keep at home. My next choice was being a Doctor. A Pediatrician in fact. Why? A sickly child I was, pegged by severe asthma, I was shuttled between hospitals and home regularly, and Doctors & Nurses were my only playmates. As I grow up, realizing that I am a Haemophobia and couldn’t even stand the sight of blood scenes on TV, and realised that this dream will not be materalised. So now, if you ask me again what is my ambition in life? To find that special someone to fall in love, get married and have kids. That special someone; He should be my Best friend, My Soulmate, My Life companion N in return, I will be his faithful wife and loving partner. A good mother. A filial daughter. A supportive friend. To be a responsible citizen. To contribute to the society in which whatever way I can. N lastly, to be true to myself and live the life that I want with no regrets. It is that simple.

Somewhere out there...

2005-11-14T01:05:00.000+08:00

Perhaps you aren't lonely as you though. Somewhere out there, Beneath the pale moonlight, Someone is thinking of you Even though you both are miles apart. Come... Say a prayer now, That you'll find him soon, just somewhere out there.

Are you feeling Lonesone tonite?

2005-11-14T00:30:00.000+08:00

This entry is dedicated to you. Perhaps you are feeling lonesome now. Loneliness just sneak in from nowhere when you least expected. Is like, you are shouting aloud in the midst of the crowd, yet no one is taking notice of you. Is falling in luv, the way out of this melancholy? Wish I Were Only Lonely Reba McEntire “Wish I were only lonely Just kind of ordinary blue If I were only lonely Then maybe I'd know what to do But I'm helpless 'cause I'm lonely for you” Yearning for a shoulder to lean on; someone whom is always there, ready to give you a hug Is that too much to ask for?

Sad Luv Song...

2005-11-10T10:21:00.000+08:00

Sad Love Songs... Especially the more poignant the words are, the more nostalgic they are — especially when they bring back memories of love that could have been, of good love that went bad, and the hope that true love might bring; that Him may be waiting around the corner, just for you to discover. But then, Life like Love, Seldom perfect. Listening to Lisa Ono’s Watch What Happens somehow does give me faith in Luv. Let someone start believing in you Let him hold out his hand Let him touch you and watch what happens Want someone who can look in your eyes And see into your heart Let him find you and watch what happens Cold, no, I won't believe your heart is cold Maybe just afraid to be broken again Let someone with a deep love to give Give that deep love to you, and what magic you'll see Let someone give his heart, someone who cares like me Let someone give his heart

My penalty to BF...

2005-11-04T14:09:00.000+08:00

I got to attend a special preview of this movie next week from the couresty from my ex-colleague. N i'm bringing a special DATE... heehee... No lah.. it's BF's birthday lah next week.. n i managed to "convince" him to replace my penalty to this movie date plus throw in a sumptuous dinner. But, it teaches me next time DO not place bet with a Telepathic person.. coz there is no way u will beat them.

你觉得你老了吗？

2005-11-02T12:36:00.000+08:00

年轻指数－吴庆康

认为大多数流行歌曲不知所云，音乐像杂声，不明白为什么有些样貌一般、歌艺so so，咬字不清的艺人居然可以走红，然后觉得不屑。
觉得大声笑闹的年轻人很有趣／很讨厌／很无聊，总之和自己“格格不入”。
看到博客的网上日记引起众人热烈参与留言“讨论”，觉得不可思议。
得花更长时间学习怎么使用最新手机，看到新产品的时候首先会问“有没有使用说明书？”，不觉得MP3音乐和光碟音乐有什么不同。
周末要奢华地宠宠自己吃一顿好料的借口有变，从“辛苦了一周，应该宠宠自己”转换成“每天都不知道明天会发生什么事，还是对自己好点”。
认识新朋友，样貌不再是最重要，有钱有权更实际。
对有成就的朋友少了些妒嫉，多了些羡慕。
对感情不再执著，渐渐看得开，凡事开始随便／随意／随兴。
不会因为一些小事就脸臭臭，终于明白有些事情即使看了不爽，也要忍气吞声，最终居然也做得到。
身边白事红事渐多，感觉多、感触多、感叹多。

我终于发现我已经不是十八了

Home...

2005-11-01T17:45:00.000+08:00

What will a gal do in a public holiday if she is still suffering from the weariness of mountaineering & a late-nite out Halloween celebration? Home She eats, eats, eats, sleeps, sleeps, sleeps, unpacks, unpacks, unpacks, reads (newspapers), reads (emails), reads (blogs), does some spring-cleaning, dvds and meaningless re-runs on local TV for companionship. There is no place like home… This is what She realized when she was in the mountain. Home is where the comfort is. She’s not going to leave Home again. “Let me go home I’ve had my run Baby, I’m done I gotta go home Let me go home It'll all be all right I’ll be home tonight I’m coming back home” Home by Michael Bublé P.S. Home is also away from the fucking mosquitoes, which she’s suffering from after-effects of their luv bites on her legs; n She’s trying her v v best not to seduce to the temptations to ease the itch by scratching and leaving hideous blemish on her legs.

Cry...

2005-11-01T01:17:00.000+08:00

I get sentimental easily I cry over ever-dying promise of love I cry over promise of love in eternity I cry when people suffering from calamity I cry when the feeling of contentment overpowered my melancholy It has been ages since I have cry… Perhaps my tears have gone dry Or perhaps my feelings have gone sedated Or perhaps there are not more reasons for me to cry. Cry by James Blunt I have seen peace. I have seen pain, Resting on the shoulders of your name. Do you see the truth through all their lies? Do you see the world through troubled eyes? And if you want to talk about it anymore, Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend I have seen birth. I have seen death. Lived to see a lover's final breath. Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fright? Is the fire of hesitation burning bright? And if you want to talk about it once again, On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder. You're a friend You and I have been through many things. I'll hold on to your heart. I wouldn't cry for anything, But don't go tearing your life apart. I have seen fear. I have seen faith. Seen the look of anger on your face. And if you want to talk about what will be, Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend. And if you want to talk about it anymore, Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend.

Another Expedition...Gunung Ledang

2005-10-28T11:53:00.000+08:00

Remember when i returned from my Mount Kinabula trip in July, I mentioned that i'm NOT going to do TREKKING again... "If you ask me will I be doing it again…? No way… First time was memorable, to do a second time was torture and if I were to do it for third time is when I’m insane." I lied... Well, not actually... at least I'm not going back to the same place... :p This time the destination is Gunung Ledang. Dun worry, with the wisdom n sufferings I gained from my virgin trip in July, this time I'm more primed... - More pre-expedition trainings were put in for de past 2 weeks i.e. running & climbing up/down stairs - More knowledge on what to bring, and how to pack light - Going to bring more carbo-loaded foods i.e. chocolates, bak gua & energy bars Meanwhile, Enjoy the festive holidays n I'll be back next week during the super-long weekend :) Tata...

Insights into Asian Cinema: Peter Chan on Love

2005-10-28T08:38:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys, If your favourite movie is "Comrades, Almost a Love Story"; or a sucker for ever-dying love movies or got nothing to do on a Deepavali holiday... Y not sign up for this...? Directing Asia: Insights into Asian Cinema: Peter Chan on Love Continuing our series on Directing Asia: Insights into Asian Cinema where speakers will talk about Asian Cinema, Asian issues and concerns, come join acclaimed Hong Kong film director and producer Peter Chan ("Perhaps Love ", "Golden Chicken" ,"Comrades, Almost a Love Story" and more) ) as he shares his insights into this thing called Love. Peter Chan will discuss how he portrays love in his films and how it is used in works such as Comrades, Almost a Love Story, to showcase the anxieties and struggles of the migrant Chinese. He will also talk about his new film, Perhaps Love, Hong Kong's entry for the Academy Awards in 2006 and the first Chinese film musical in decades. Peter Chan will discuss how love is being portrayed in the medium of the musical. This event is brought to you by Shaw Organisation and the National Library Board. Directing Asia: Insights into Asian Cinema - LOVE Date/Time : Tuesday, 1st November 2005, 7 pm - 9 pmVenue : Possibility Room, Level 5, National Library, 100 Victoria Street, Singapore 18806 Admission:Registration is required for this talk and it is on a first come first served basis. Please send an email to asq@nlb.gov.sg to register for up to 2 places per person. Please indicate Peter Chan in the subject title. The session will be in Mandarin and the talk falls on Deepavali.

Blue Vs Blues...

2005-10-27T10:32:00.000+08:00

I had a side-bet with my Barny fren recently on Chelsea (This Meowx2 is converted Chelsea fan and he is an ever-loyal Everton fan-si) that the next match, the Blues (Chelsea) would beat Charlton upside down in their mid-week match, since they were playing at the home ground. The loser has to cook the winner a full course dinner, with dishes he/she favored. “U better start brushing up your cooking skills… I’m confirmed winning...” “What makes U so sure?” (Giving him a disgusting look at the same time) “I just know it..” (and he grinned) . . . Half-time 1 - 1 Full-time 1- 1 . . This is bad news for someone who cant even manage a simple dish like maggie mee. Dammed.. I just hate his psychic P.S. Sad news for all Blues fans... Chelsea out of League Cup :(

Cravings...Update I

2005-10-26T12:43:00.000+08:00

My cravings for Achar ceased since last Saturday... Now favourite-of-the-time now... Banana prata with Teh Hajik (Ginger Tea) from The Cheese Prata Shop near NUS.. Yum-Yum...

Top 15 Biblical Way to Acquire a Wife...

2005-10-26T09:37:00.000+08:00

For those SINGle Guys who are may be desperate to end their solitary status.. You may wish to seek aid from de Holy Bible... (Does the Bible offers assistance in acquiring a husband as well?...:p) btw, Must ask my Barmy Fren to read this... Top 15 Biblical Way to Acquire a Wife 4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. -- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) (That's provided that U're filthy rich) 5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. -- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) 6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. -- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) 7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. -- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) 9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) -- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) 10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) 11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." -- Samson (Judges 14:1-3) 12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose your son though). -- David (2 Samuel 11) 13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). -- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) And the BEst Suggestion... GOes to... 14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. -- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

What is Luv...?

2005-10-25T13:04:00.000+08:00

I stumbled upon crunchy green apple's blog talking about Luve. Love-at-first-sight, Unspoken-chemistry-we-have, Meant-to-be forever-sensation And these are some of the comments left by her readers.. "I've never fallen in love at first sight. Neither have I made fast friends only to lose them faster. But I do form my impression within the first 200 seconds of a meeting and I do admit I am shallow like that." "Neither can I give the person I love my shoulders to rest or cry on, my ears to listen with compassion and give cheer by presenting fresh flowers anyday. Because they'll be days I need the sturdy shoulder, the listening ear and the jubilance from a flower." "I prefer someone baggage free, so that he can carry mine. Hur Hur. Ok, not quite. That would be unfair to him. But yeah, i would love for (a baggage free guy) him to come help me unpack, throw away the nonsense so that we can carry empty ones to start over together with and fill with edifying material." " "Many court me because i am a difficult one. Perhaps, a test of their pride or self-worth.Others lack persistance. Upon understanding that my complexity is beyond comprehension, they give up, not only on me, but on themselves as well. Such a pity, that i only attract materialistics and the weak hearted. Apparently i am not worthy of a true chase, of true romatic love." What affects me are these comments are right.. to the point that I once shared the same sentiments as them. Luv, it hurts intensly like a fresh wound, and the only mediciation is time. No one can learn how to play this game well, no matter how many times they have fallen in love. Many claim to be the expert and often, they end up making a fool of themselves. Like angela mentioned in her comment "Love is something i try not to comprehend, maybe im afraid too. There's alot of things i dont believe in anymore, But i try to convince myself that i do." I'm still trying hard to believe that there is still such a wonderful thing call Luve.

重色轻友...

2005-10-25T00:53:00.000+08:00

Yesterday met up with a very close ex-colleague from my previousx2 company for a dinner. Did a lot of updating on each other’s lives as our last reunion was a year back when she quitted her job, took a breather and flown around half the Asia Pacific continent. Each time we get together, she would groan about my busy schedule and the difficulty of getting me to meet up in a short notice. (Short notice means having to book me in advance 1.5 weeks) She found it hard to comprehend how a single gal like me can have activities fill-up back-to-back in her calendar. She: So what happened if ‘He’ walks into your life? Do you have time for him? Me: Well, if that really happens… Trust me, I will cancel all appointments just to be with him. By then, you wont even have the luxury to see me.. coz I wan to spend my every waking moments with him… :p Yes, I’m that 重色轻友 gal. Be aware, My friends...

À la mode People Association

2005-10-24T15:06:00.000+08:00

As a family-tutor for some primary school kids, my weekday’s schedule are quite relaxed since after the PSLE I’m toying the idea of taking some short courses to keep myself occupied till next year when my services resumes when the school re-opens. So the options I have; a. Taking Class 2B riding classes b. Taking a language class c. Perfection my English pronunciation d. Taking Guitar class Option a I thought of riding a bike since I still believe that owning a car is too costly to my penniless wallet and the love-hate relationship I have with the taxis. It’s always annoying when I dun need them, they keep appearing; and when I need them urgently, I end up having to call them. Anyway, my mum die die wont agreed to let me learn bike.. So let’s forget this. Option b How about take a refresher crash course on my half-cooked Japanese and go for the JLPT level 1 exam by the end of the year. But then, I dun wan to torture myself by studying for another dreadful exam. French or Korean language? Korean language sounds a bit more exciting, especially there is a cute Korean coach whom is teaching in my taekwondo school now. Can try my new linguistic skill to ask him out for a drink..:p Option c As a trainer, I need to speak professional English. Yes.. I speak quite fluently, however I always wanted to perfect it, especially on my b’s and my p’s… I want my Englandish to be phonetically correct like the newscasters, not like the pasar malam hawker promoting his wares using Singlish. Option d Why I want to learn how to play Guitar? The reason is simple. When I’m old, out of job, and bosses doesn’t want to hire workers >40 years old. I take my guitar, stand along the Orchard road pathway, and strumming away, singing top of my hoarsely sexy voice.. just to earn a decent day's meal. and also, U dun get to see much sexy street-singer in Spore as well.. Therefore, I decide to play around my options and do a bit of surfing… till I glanced across our friendly People Association website. The impression that I have on PA's courses are usually the ‘Standard’ aerobics classes, Japanese language, Malay language, cooking class, kids classes like arts classes, enrichment, piano,ballet, tuition, taekwondo & karate classes Now their selection are SOOOoo.. different They have Dog obedience workshop Therapeutic Dog Message Plumbing DIY Archery Pole Dancing Workshop Let’s cook the Singles Gourmet Cofinement Meals for Mummy Basic DJ Workshop Balinese Massage Slimming with Shiatsu How to get richer & less Poorer Wine Appreciation class Home Beer Brewing Volin Arabic Language Jawi Language Detox Workshop Stone Therapy Wah… so maybe I should SERIOUSLLY consider changing my Korean language class for some Balinese massage lesson or Pole-dancing class..

Absurd idea to get attached...

2005-10-21T13:20:00.000+08:00

I know this sounds STUPID... But i'm going to do it to increase my chance to get attached and avoid the tragedy.. Me & a Barmy Fren (BF) were msnning yesterday... BF : Yo... tell u sth.. Me : Wat? I'm v busy o... BF : U wan to know or not? Me : U wan to say.. then say lah.. dun test my patience.. I alredy told u i'm busy liao... BF : Then why U go online..? Me : Then why I cannot go online? BF :Then U wan me to tell you or not? I got a way to make you get a boyfriend and marry FAST... ME : Ok... tell me NOW! BF : Go place a He-barbie doll beside your bed, and confirm, guaratee that within 3 months u be attached... ME : Sure Bo? BF : Confirm! My friend-friend tried that and within 1 month, she got bfren liao Me: So chun meh? Me: Scary... Me : Then u got place a Barbie beside your bed to get a gf? BF : Haha,.. Got lah... But not ONE hor... . . . So later after work today, I'm going to pop down to Toys R Us store and get this....

So whether does this works... I let your guys posted... haha...

P.S. Btw, SDU sent me my membership card, and the latest issue of their magazine... hasnt have the time to glance through the activities they have for members.. but i guess i will be too busy to sign up as well...

学习放下...

2005-10-20T11:13:00.000+08:00

吴庆康 is one of my favourite authors to-date. I always find his articles @ 2359 column quite inspiring. Remember when i first get to read his works when his white book was first lauched in 2002. I was just broke up with my 1st love and i was at the lowest point of my life. The amazing thing about his writings is that they seems to be consoling me, and they act like a lone gigantic shining star in the sky, guiding me; like yesterday his article mentioning about leaving the emontional baggage in the heart and moving on.. Trust me, I'm still moving on.. i cant afford to carry the heavy load in my heart anymore.. 吴庆康－学习放下其实生活中不论多美好的人与事，时间一久必定改变，一份很热爱的工作，在不同的时候那种热爱的程度会有上有下。一个深爱的人，也有一些时候让你更加疼爱或让你受不了。一些拥有的/收藏的东西，也必定会有一段时期是你没有花心思和时间去照顾的。 所以选择在适当的时候放下很重要，那需要是一个你在心理上、精神上，以及实际情况都对的时候。 像我最近突然决定将收藏的一些儿童读物捐给图书馆，是因为在那一刻觉得可以放下了，于是赶紧去做。因为我知道一旦我犹豫，后果又会变得不一样。如果我们每次都那么准，碰到适当的时候将一些东西放下，那学习放下的过程，也就不必那么辛苦了。是的，我相信只要心里放得下，就算实际情况不比从前的丰富，只要在那个时候觉得应该，觉得对，在心理上也可以舒服自在。往往，就是因为我们紧紧捉住了目前的美好，所以不知道还有可能的更美好。

Crabby Cat...

2005-10-19T14:54:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling v crabby now... since like today condemned to be a bad day for me... must be from the effects that I wake up the wrong side of the bed this morning... Dun ask me what happened.. I seem to be blamed for things that are not under my care and the worse part, I cant even shift the blame away. Idiot, I get labelled for "Irresponsible" somemore by that person... Forgive me if i sounds ranting... i need to get the frustration out... Fucking shit. holy shit, bloody shit, or whatever shit it mightt be. May you fall into the muddy hole and everyone laughs at you...

Cravings...

2005-10-18T10:00:00.000+08:00

My taste buds often work in an astonishing way like a pregnant woman… Just out of sudden, my brain sends signal to my mind telling me that they need to have a particular food NOW.. and A LOT… A particular food that is sweet, spicy, sour & salty. Since last week for now…I consume this virtually every meal…

NOYA Achar… Achar with Maggie mee Achar with Rice Achar with porridge Achar with KFC spicy drumsticks Achar with ham & cheese sandwich Achar with tuna Acha with cuttlefish Acha with vegetation meehoon Acha with nonya dumpling Acha with chee cheong fun Acha with fish beehoon Acha with carrot cake Acha with popiah Acha with anything goes with my meal Hmm.. I wonder how will achar taste like, if eaten with chocolate cake.. which I am eating now for breakfast..

First time I doing...

2005-10-16T20:41:00.000+08:00

I admit as a movie buff, no matter how dreary a film might be... i would usually try to make the best out of it and 'enjoy' the movie. Well I did something yesterday which was a totally disgraceful to my like-minded mates.. I SLEPT half-way while viewing this show...

Well... u cant blame me... I'm just physically exhausted from the activities I had in a day (i.e. running, taekwondo, dragon-boating in a day plus a dinner outing) and hadnt had a decent 8hrs sleep over the past few days as well.. Besides, the movie was so draggy... It was a struggle to try to stay awake in 2.30am when your eyes just want to shut down. *Yawn*... I need to snooze again... Going to have an early rest tonite. Goodnite..

Lunacy and Sanity...

2005-10-12T13:44:00.000+08:00

Not intend to do write much today, as I’m still trying to trace the originator of this crime, n fortunately due to my good network and my ‘spies’ located at various parts of the company, I more or less know whom is the crook. :p Anyway last nite, I was reading through my past entries, and realized that for the past few months I have been going through rounds of emotional roller-coaster, and blogging becomes an alternative outlet to express my true feelings which I find it arduous to reveal them out in this realism world. It’s an amazing that lunacy and sanity are just a fine line apart from each other. Without blogging, I believe I’m just a step away from insanity; just like this pic says.

Me a Lesbian...???

2005-10-11T17:34:00.000+08:00

If a gal is single for long, does that make her a lesbian? If she got heaps of galfrens, does that make her a lesbian? If she happens to be taller than most of the guys, does that make her a lesbian? If she happens to like to wear pants to work most of the time, does that make her a lesbian? Shitt... there is a rumour in the office now, saying that I might be one.. Arrugghh.... Dun let me know who started it.... Otherwise, I would swear to let the person to have a grueling death by crushing/grinding/mashing or watever i deemed to do in a revenge....

My DISC Profile (for this year)...

2005-10-11T00:18:00.000+08:00

As part of my work, one of the most common tools which i usually do for my participants' for a team-building session is to in-build a personality test, to let them gain a deeper insight of himself and as well as their teammates. I usally do mine once a year as well to see how my profile evolves over time... Hmm... since that my dominance went down quite a lot since last year's result. DOMINANCE = 55 (slightly high) People who score in the high range: ~ enjoy competition and challenge. ~ are goal orientated and want to be recognised for their efforts. ~ aim high, want authority and are generally resourceful and adaptable. ~ are usually self-sufficient and individualistic. ~ may lose interest in projects once the challenge has gone and they tend to be impatient and dissatisfied with minor detail. They are usually direct and positive with people, enjoying being the centre of attraction and may take it for granted that people will think highly of them. They may have a tendency to be rather critical of others. Consequently, other people may tend to see them as being rather domineering and overpowering. INFLUENCE = 70 (High) People who score in the high range: ~ are strongly interested in meeting and being with people. ~ are generally optimistic, outgoing, and socially skilled.~ are quick at establishing relationships. Sometimes their concern for people and people’s feelings may make them reluctant to disturb a favourable situation or relationship. STEADINESS = 12 (Low) People who score in the low range: ~ tend to enjoy change and variety in their work and non-work life. ~ are expansive by nature and tend not to like routine and repetitive work/activities. They enjoy stretching themselves intellectually and physically COMPLIANCE = 16 (Low) People who score in the low range: ~ are independent and uninhibited. ~ resent rules and restrictions. ~ prefer to be measured by results and are always willing to try the untried. Free in thought, word and deed, they long for freedom and go to great lengths to achieve it. They feel that repetitive detail and routine work is best 'delegated'. CLick here to try the DISC test P.S. btw, This test is also used by most organizations during the recruitment process to view the degree of suitability of the candidate in the job vs personality match.

First Step...

2005-10-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

Colossal 1st step to conclude my Single-Hood & avoid tragedy from happening... I finally signed up... as part of their xxxxnd member.

Busy... busy...

2005-10-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

Seems like my weekend schedules from now till end-year going to be jammed-packed of activities... Oct - helping fren in a flea mart; Taekwondo grading test, running clinic, bt timah hiking & Gunung Ledang trip (tentatively).... Nov - An adventure & team-building sessions for two weeks for a self-help organization which i signed up as a voluteer recently, River Regatta & a good-friend birthday's celebration. Dec - Marathon, Bangkok Christmas Trip, and New Year Countdown celebtration (This year my turn to host the event for my brunch of kakis) In-between, got to attend dragon-boat practices & preparation for the marathon. Good.. Let's keep it this way... at least I'm occupied and got no time to dwell on him.

Expression of a music...

2005-10-07T10:05:00.000+08:00

If a picture says a thousand words... then a music can express the current state of a person's feeling... This is how I feel today.... Click here "It's my life And it's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just wanna live when I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway Like Frankie said "I did it my way" I just want to live while I'm alive 'Cause it's my life!" Bon Jovi - It's my Life

Rejuvenation...

2005-10-06T13:08:00.000+08:00

I think I'm feeling alright now... Yesterday took a day off work. Did meaningness stuff like sleep, nibble junk food, watch cable, window-shopping, spring-cleaning the house, anything that i can get away from my laptop. coz i dun wan to login to my mailbox every 5 mins and wait for the never-arriving reply. This morning, I woke up feeling slightly enliven. On my way to work, I tell myself... I need to focus my mind & attention elsewhere.. if not, i will suffered another breakdown sooner or later.. Maybe it's time for me to sign up for always-intented-but lazy-to-sign-up MBA course or take another holiday trip.... Just happened this morning, my colleague asked me whether wan to go Bangkok with her or not .. So me & my colleague spent the entire morning emailing each other, discussing on the details of the trip... i.e. the dates (we decide to spend our christmas there...), which hotel to stay, where to go.. etc... At least now.. I really got something to look forward to. :)

So Go; but wish you can stay...

2005-10-05T10:51:00.000+08:00

This is the scene from the movie - Eternal Sunshine that keeps replaying in my mind all the time. It's so much like our last meeting, before he went away. [In the house on the beach] Joel: I really need to go. I should catch my ride. Clementine: So go. Joel: I did. I walked out the door. I was too nervous. I thought, maybe you were a nut. But you were exciting. I felt like I was a scared little kid. Clementine: You were scared? Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation. Clementine: Was it something I said? Joel: Yeah, you said so go. Said it with such disdain you know? Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry. Joel: It's ok. Clementine: I wish you had stayed. Joel: I wish I had stayed to. I swear to god I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish... I wish I had stayed. [Walking out] Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time? Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left. Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Pretend we had one.

I wan to be like Clementine...

2005-10-05T04:51:00.000+08:00

What is wrong with me now? I hate being emotionally unstable, it doesnt helped when the chilliness of last nite's rain making me shivering. I’m going to fall apart soon if he still doesn’t reply… My mind doesnt function the way I want it to now. I cant concentrated. I cant work…Now I cant even bother to make an effort to put a smile on my face and appear to be fine. My mom sensed I am gloomy, but she didnt asked what happend; i guess she knows i'm still not ready to tell her yet. I just want to know how is he doing now. I know it’s my fault for the way i feel now. If… If I can do anything to lessen my pain…. I wish I could just erase my feelings, my emotions & the memories of him away, like Clementine did in the movie "Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind", Perhaps I would be better off. At least I can just stop worrying, stop thinking about him. I need to numb myself physical and emotional. I need to stop myself from thinking about him, all the things that had happened between us and the ripotse i gave. Someone.., Anyone, please took my heart away now. I really need to lose the feeling of misery. So if this is like when my world falls apart, just let me like Clementine.

What Are The Keys To My Heart?

2005-10-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Hate myself...

2005-10-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

Shit... What have i done? I begin to hate myself for doing this to him. I should have let the question remained unanswered. But i dont want to hide anymore, hide from the guilt. The Guilt that he has implanted inside my heart since he left. My heart needs to be free. Our relationship deserves a proper ending. It should not suffered like three years ago. It has been over 72 hrs. I've been waiting. . . . Except that this wait will be futile. He still not yet replied. I guess he wont reply anymore.

Awaiting....

2005-10-04T09:19:00.000+08:00

It was sent on Saturday nite... n I waited... I waited... I waited.... I dun know what I'm waiting for honestly... perhaps that answer wont be coming in afterall.

About us...

2005-10-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

Hi, Please forgive me for writing to you all of a sudden. Did I surprise you? I've thought about us for a long time... since you've left... the question that you asked.... and I finally figured out something. When we're together, you told me many of your dreams. You told me you want to share your dreams with me; But.. those are yours, not mine. You must be disappointed with me when i didnt ask you to stay; You must be angry at me that I didnt tell you these earlier. But please do understand, I've made the decision by myself, and it is for myself. Doing this, is like escaping from you. I'm really sorry. I love you, always. Good bye.